On Sunday afternoon I witnessed the most boring form of entertainment known to man. I'm not talking about Celine Dion at Ceasar's Palace or a Toronto Raptor's regular season game. Not even a Friday night in Elbow, Saskatchewan is as boring as Japanese noh.

Basically, noh is theatre but without any acting or movement. There isn't any dialogue, either. The play we attended didn't feature costumes. Nothing but five or six old men on a bare stage chanting in a form of Japanese that no one has spoken since the 1500's. Every once in a while someone shifts position or moves their head a couple degrees. Oooo! The excitement! Will they move their head three degrees, or the entire ninety? It's anyones guess! Pass the popcorn!

Everyone in the audience was sleeping. Nancy wanted to sleep, but was worried she would offend the person who took us. Then he fell asleep. It was a real snoozefest. When people woke up it was a with a real what-the-hell? look on their face. Then they would walk out. We left half way through, too (the half way point, by the way, comes at the two hour mark).

That was my first and last noh play. People have told me that I need to give kabuki a try, but I don't think so. Not so long as there's Celine Dion tickets available.