Real quick this time.

We had a busy weekend. Friday after work we left for Aki, an hour and a half east on the 33. The plan was to arrive fairly early and hang out with Anisette for a while that night, before the big ball game the next morning. Who knew when we were going to have to line up for tickets? The last line-up I saw, in Kyoto, started at 7 a.m. on New Year's day. Crazy kids waiting for concert tickets. So we were expecting an early to bed early to rise kind of weekend. But Anisette had good news! Her boss could get us in for free! We stayed up late talking and watching Deep Impact, one of those crappy asteroid movies that came out five years ago. It's wierd how all those movies came out at the same time. What's up with that?

Anyway, we slept in the next morning and left around 11 a.m. for the ball stadium. It was a pre-season game between the Hanshin Tigers - Japanese equivalent of the New York Yankees or Boston Red Sox - and the something something Orix - Japanese equivalent of the St. Louis Cardinals or Montreal Expos. The stadium was well-packed by the time we arrived, so we sat way in left field, directly behind the foul ball post. Couldn't really see much, but it was great seeing people eating rice and miso soup at a ball game, as opposed to hot dogs and fries. The other thing was the cheering - there was a full brass band, and people sang fight songs and chanted and cheered the entire nine innings. It was so much fun!

In the seventh inning Hanshin went on a tear, scoring eight runs to go ahead 9-4. Nancy was so excited! Every time Hanshin hit the ball - and they were really hitting, picking the field like nobody's business - she would jump up and down like crazy. Afterward, we turned on the highlights and there was Nancy, nothing more than a pink speck way out in left field jumping around like mad. It was hilarious. Go Tigers!

After the game we headed back Anisette's for some grub and a nap before the big party in Kochi City. We headed over to Christine's for a chat, and left there around 11 p.m. The party was with some big-wig drum and bass dj. He's opened up for a bunch of famous brits, like the Chemical Brothers and Roni Size. The music was fast and furious all night. We danced until about three a.m., at which point we were exhausted and ready for bed. So today has been a nice lazy day, making MD's and doing laundry. And now, finishing up the blog. Catch ya later.

Yay!! It's Friday! Tonight we are off to Aki city to stay with our friend Anisette. A fellow Canadian. On Saturday, we are going to wake up really early to stand in line for tickets to the pre-season, Hanshin Tiger Baseball game. There are only 1000 tickets left and people love this team. It may be hard to get so wish us luck!

Then on Saturday night, it is off to see a DJ. The party starts at midnight and goes until 4 a.m. It will be a blast! Only 2 more minutes left of work. I have been counting down the time all day.

Today I had English class with three handicapped elementary students. One student was very boisterous, another couldn't talk and the third was a cute softspoken girl. It was a bit difficult. When I first entered the room, Hiro-kun saw me, yelled "Nanshi-san", jumped up and started running around the room screaming. After about 3 minutes of this he came and sat down only to say "Nanshi Kowai" which means Nancy is scarey. Off to a great start. I couldn't think of some really simple action songs that they would be to do. Tomo-kun kindof ran the show. He liked to be incharge and would periodically make everyone stop what they were doing even if it was in the middle of a song or an activity. Then we all had to listen to him scream, talk, or sing. "one, ni, san, ka, ki, ku, nnnaaaaaa" At which point we would all congratulate his performance. Sometimes he would allow us to continue, othertimes he would give us an encore. I think I did ok all factors considered.

Although it's been a while, mistakes still come naturally.

Luckily, the big ones are behind me. I've got the shoe-changing business down, self-introductions are a breeze and I never turn down a gift, even if it is left-over Christmas chocolate. The big ones are easy to avoid, because they arise from foreign situations. Canadians don't wear bathroom slippers, don't make self-introductions and don't give souvenirs from their trip down the street.

It's the little mistakes that are harder to avoid. They're more subtle, arise from more nuanced cultural difference, which I am only now becoming privy to.

At an office party the other night I commented on Hamasaki-sensei's English ability. "Anata wa shogakko-sei no Ei-go o hanashimasu. Watashi mo. Watashi no Nihon-go wa ichi-nensei desu." You speak elementary school English, just like me. I speak grade one Japanese. Har-de-har-har, or so I thought.

Maybe I'm beginning to forget Canadian culture, but back home that a comment wouldn't have derailed the conversation. In our family we were always taking little jabs at one another. It's called sarcasm, and while I suppose it isn't for everyone, it's generally more accepted in our culture. If I get a bad haircut and someone says "nice hair", I'm going to know what they mean, and it isn't going to bring a tear to my eye. Sarcasm is difficult here, not only because of the language barrier, but because people respond differently - for many, it's more stinging criticism than light jest. But how do you change your sense of humour?

One way has been to depersonalize the sarcasm. For example, Taka-san asked what I was going to do on the weekend. "Buy socks. Very exciting." Even though I spoke the Emperor's Japanese, no one got it. They were truly puzzled. Hirose-san went into her dictionary for about twenty minutes before asking, "Jon, why are you excited to buy socks?" "Oh, it's just a joke," I said, at which point everyone laughed it up.

Another has been to play the idiot savant. Luckily this seems to come naturally. At taiko last night the sensei explained the drill in detail, and everyone got going. Of course I was daydreaming. While everyone else was doing their thing, I was looking around trying to figure out what everyone was doing. It was totally natural, look around to try and figure it out. Still, everyone thought it was hilarious. And it was. So I laughed.

Of course, I don't pretend to understand the Japanese sense of humour. Lord only knows what in the hell that TV hamster is doing with his head stuck in a door three sizes small than the rest of his body, let alone what the five-person panel is colour-commentating about.

Nonetheless, I've somewhat managed to fit my sense of humour to the Japanese sensibility. Hopefully, the longer I stay, the easier it will get. Hopefully, the mistakes will become fewer and farther between.

Today we had a reading quiz for 50 minutes. About 40 students in grade 7 had to read 1 page in their textbook that they have been practicing for at least 3 weeks.

"Where's Japan? I can't see it. I can't see any borders. The earth looks like one peaceful planet. The earth is our mother and we are all her children."

Seems easy, right? Wrong. Some kids did really well but a few refused to try. Others waited until I felt so sorry for them that I read it and let them repeat after me (2 or 3 words at a time). Some couldn't read "I" or "and". The kids who could read were quietly whispering to their illiterate friend in the hot seat (i.e., cheating). I was really disappointed. I told them after they were finished. The whisperers, almost all of which were girls, looked really ashamed. Perhaps I'm not so cute afterall....

I'm beginning to lose my sense of humour. Today this kid threw a temper tantrum - kicking, screaming, grabbing, the whole nine - for the entire 45 minute class. Meanwhile four of the boys were playing tag in the hall, when they weren't too busy kanchoing one another. The whole gong-show didn't make for a very good fruit-absortion atmosphere: "Yeah, yeah, we all like apples. Now, let's kancho the spazzoid and see if his face'll turn purple." About when spazzer started throwing the karuta cards around the room, I decided the game was over, geared down into a rousing rendition of count-and-clap. "One-ni-three-yon..." Twenty minutes of counting to ten. I could hardly contain myself. Thank goodness the bell rang, at which point spazzer grabbed hold of my leg and, well... started humping it. "Sensei," I said, pointing. She came over and tried to get him off, but to no avail. I had to physically grab him by the scruff of the neck and peel him off. Another reason to learn Japanese: "Excuse me, spazzer, but if you don't stop humping me, I'm going to see you castrated." Now that would be something to laugh about.

I can tell it's gonna be a bad week. It is only Monday, not even lunchtime, and I am bored. The English teacher who I taught 2 classes with today is mad at me. At least I think she is. Perhaps I didn't say "house" properly. Who knows....

I have a feeling it is because the kids get so excited to see me. I will be walking down the hallway with her and at least 5 times, in a 1 to 2 minute time period, some kids will say "Nancy berry berry cuto" (translation: Nancy, you are very, very cute). And they won't say anything to her. Not even a hello. I can see why she would be upset. But she has no idea of how sick I am of hearing how cute or pretty or whatever I am. It's hard to be famous.

In class we really studied English. We played bullsh*t - the card game but the teacher called it "doubt". You know, the game where you go around in a circle and lay down cards from 1-K and say 2 threes. If someone thinks you are lying they say "bullsh*t". If you were lying, you take the pile. If you weren't, they take it. Easy game. Only we each only put down 1 card at a time and say the number from 1 to 13. It was such a lame game. These are 9th graders. I hope by now they can count to 13. They get taught in grade 3 or 4 and know it when they are in grade 6. However, there is a rule that when they get to grade 7 they must forget any English they have learned up to that point. I have grade 8 students who cannot say eleven. Anyways, we basically counted for 40 minutes. Sad.

It ain't easy being gaijin.

When no knows AC/DC. When no one has read Hemmingway. When Chicago is just a city. When Queen is big for some reason. When, at enkai, you are announced the best damn foreigner in Kochi. When, three days earlier, you were told to watch out, foreigners might steal your bike. When you say grapefruit and no understands, because it's guraipufurutsu, you idiot.

Ok, I might as well just admit it. I had a bad week.

I've added some links. The qUirKy jAPan hOmePage is a slightly disillusioned look at this stupid place. Genki English is what we use for work. Metropolis is a good webmag about the goings-on in the Tokyo art, architecture, music, sports and culture scenes. Engrish is funny, especially since Nancy and I are both fluent now. The Chiiori Project is the best place to visit in all of Shikoku. And Hunkabutta is a really good blog done by a guy in Tokyo. Maybe if we get a digital camera this blog will be just as good. So, let's enjoying the utmost in satisfactory of blogging. Today is all times after all!

This week was awesome!! I cannot believe it is Friday already.

Monday - went to doctor and worked for about 2 hours surfing the net at the office. Rough day.

Tuesday - went to Noichi zoo with the 9th graders from Sakawa Junior High school. Absolute blast. Got to leave work at 3:30 since my job (going to the zoo) was finished for the day.

Wednesay - went to old folk's home with Ogawa Junior High school. Watched them sing and dance for 30 minutes. Some of them were wearing elf suits. Quite amusing. The old people were all clapping along at different times. Even more amusing. Then watched the students clean windows for the home. Finished at 11.

Thursday - played charades and pictionary for three 50 minute classes. Colored, cut, and glued some supplies for elementary school.

Friday - played jeopardy for 30 minutes. Wrote my blog and a letter to mom and dad. Taught food and sports to Kuroiwa Elementary school.

So as you can see, rough week....

Because there are no classes, Thursdays have come down to choosing the location at which I can most effectively accomplish nothing. It wasn't even a contest.

The office has the Internet, with which I can google away the hours.

Not that the decision was entirely mine. I get the feeling that the school doesn't want me there on days when I don't teach. Maybe it's their way of handling me, to make sure I don't disrupt the day-to-day of the school more than I already do. So it isn't only me that wants to accomplish nothing with Thursdays, it's the school as well. Which is crazy, considering they flew me half way around the world to be here. But not them, really. The Japanese government flew me over here, and now the school has to figure out what to do with me. So here I sit, working on the blog.

It's a hard job, but somebody has to do it.

Rock 'n roll ain't noize pollution.

Ain't MD grand? Went to Tsutaya yesterday and rented AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" and The Stooges self-titled debut. Now I'm rockin' out on the headphones, dancing around the house like a purepred idgit. I love it! Reminds me of the good 'ol dayz...

"Where in the hell is Ernie, anyway? Everyone else is already out at Cold Springs, I just know it. Mom, can I have the car? Please? I won't bag it, I promise!"

"Hey Mike, yeah, I got the car. Be right over. We'll pick Todd up on the way out."

But of course there's already three duderz at Mike's, waitin' for a ride, and another two at Weber's, waitin' for Ernie but who in the hell knows what he's gotten and gone up to? So the seven of us pile into old faithful, a faded blue '87 Ford Taurus, and cruise over to the Reddie Mart, where sure 'nuff Ernie's sippin' a whiskey and coke in the parking lot.

"Ernie! What the f---! We were waitin' for ya!"

"Sorry boyz, had some business."

But no bad blood, 'cause it's time to party! We hook bumpers and make a snake to Cold Springs. Boogie down until three a.m.

Well past curfew and mom's up waitin'.

"Fun time?"

"Yup. G'nite."

Yes sir-ee, rock 'n roll ain't gonna die.

National holidays. Ahhhh. I love them. I have no clue why it was a national holiday like most of the other holidays I have had but I loved it none the less.

Imagine it. 15 little kids dressed up like Samurai. Adorable. Some were even carrying long wooden poles with sharp metal pointy objects on the end. (A brilliant idea, I might add. Giving 6 year old boys long poles with sharp metal pointy objects on the end.)

15 grown men carrying an amazing mini-temple that was golden and appeared to be incredibly heavy especially since they carried the mini-temple (like pharohs might have carried Cleopatra) up a mountain while swaying it back and forth and, at the same time, hopping and yelling. There was afterall a God inside. The swaying, hopping, and yelling was to drive away the devil. Coincidentally, there were 3 devils present - all wearing red masks with frowns and holding sticks that they would shake at various people.

The jesters were wearing white masks and people played tricks on them. Jon, Vineeth, and Antony even got in on the action. They ran in, stole the jester's box of goodies, and made their getaway. The jester didn't even know what happened. The crowd went wild. The decked out photographers - with 3 cameras and huge lenses per person, took advantage of the photo op. We started calling them the paparazzi.

The parade people had to get the mini-temple into the temple while the devils had to prevent them from doing so. They had to try again and again. Perhaps 20 times. The men's faces showed their pain and exhaustion. We cheered them on. I was worried they would drop the mini-temple. Luckily, they finally got in.

It was cool to see all the Shinto priests watching the festivities. Even the head priest (bishop) was present. He was wearing a huge black peacock hat thing. You could just tell he was the head honcho. It was a lot different from Sunday church.

The the dancers came out to celebrate their victory. They had a 30 foot pole with a large feather pom pom at the end that they had to throw across the court to one another. It looked like it was a real challenge to catch it. One obachan (old lady) got smacked on the head when the stick almost touched the ground.

It was all fun and games at the Niyodo festival.

Listening to the Beatles's Blackbird. A good end to a good weekend.

I wish we didn't have to go to work tomorrow. It's too much fun, just hanging out with friends. On Friday we had Austin and Christine over for supper. We made Nancy's favourite curry, a vegetable masala. Totemo oishii. We stayed up until 3 a.m. eating, drinking and playing Scrabble.

Austin and Christine are American. Christine is from New York. This is her first year in Japan. She deferred medical school to come here, and has to leave for home in the summer. She's one of our best friends here, so it's going to be sad to see her leave. Austin is from down south somewhere. He's been here two, and is staying three. So we can hang out with him once in a while. Sweet.

Eight bells Saturday morning we had to leave for calligraphy in Kochi City. Nancy signed us up for a free course at the international centre. I wasn't exactly in the mood, but we had fun. We'll drop some in the mail for all y'all to have a peep. Just don't ask what they mean.

I taught a class this morning. The same twelve kids for three hours. It was fun, but draining. Six seven years old and the other six nine year olds. We sang some songs, played some games, had some fun. I kicked ass at shape tag! I've got some good strategies going. If I yell triangle, but point at square, I can usually break the group up and snag a few of the slower ones. And if I run through the middle of the group, it breaks them up so it's easier to catch a few. I love shape tag!!!

Tonight we had Rachel and her friend Simon over for a nabe. Nabe is this vegetable stew thing that's really easy and really filling. Simon lives in Beijing, and is only in Japan for a couple weeks. We had some interesting conversation, comparing the two. China sounds really crazy! He said he saw a bike accident where people just gathered and stared. No one said anything, and no one called the ambulance. His theory is that there are just so many people, it's easier to be insensitive. He said Japanese people think Chinese are really rude, and Chinese think Japanese are insincere. Makes sense.

Well, I'm sleepy and Nancy's finished playing the new djembe. She got it for me as a present and I love it! I can already play along to Blackbird.

Nighty nite.

Well, I think I can safely say that my allergy is under control. I got some new medicine and it seems to be working. I can breathe from my nose!! Now I can also start writing on the blog again. I basically slept the last 2 weeks away.

I don't know how it happened. I drove to school today and everything felt normal. I parked next to Kocho-sensei like always and headed into the school. I sat through the morning meeting and went to my first english class. We played go fish with vocabulary words. The game went well. I lost both times. Next, the gym teacher came up to me in a panick. "blab blab blab jidosha blab blab blab". Something about my car. The next thing I knew he had my car jacked up and the back tire replaced with the spare tire. Apparently I had a flat tire. The spare looks like one of those little plastic dingies that kids use in the lake. I hope it holds until I build up the effort and brain power to take my broken tire to be repaired. Damn.

Jon and I have had trouble making decisions over all sorts of things. Is this weekend a good time to invite some friends over for supper? Should we pay a lot of money to go snowboarding? Where should we go this March for our vacation? The conversation always seems to go like so...

"what do you think?"
"maybe. i don't know. what do you think?"
"hmmm. that's tough. we better decide."
"yah"
"so today you will not believe what my english teacher said...."

and thus, no decision is made. Are we, in fact, turning Japanese?

After class Wednesday a group of us went for curry. As usual, we ended up talking about how screwy it is here. But instead of the run-of-the-mill whining, we actually spent some time figuring out why Japan seems so ass-backward sometimes.

Christine mentioned that many anthropologists believe that Japanese culture affords the most freedom to young children and retirees. Starting in junior high school and lasting until retirement, individual freedom is restricted by a multitude of societal rules and expectations. The average adult Japanese spends his or her adult life doing what he or she is told, or at least what is expected, so the group remains strong and cohesive.

By contrast, anthropologists say American or Canadian culture affords the most individual freedom to grown adults, starting at 18 and lasting until retirement. Only the very young and the very old are expected to follow the seemingly arbitrary rules of society at large, to do what they are told. The average adult American or Canadian, then, is expected to do what is in his or her best interest - within reason, of course - in order to better one's individual standing.

Granted life isn't as simple as that, such a theory does go toward explaining why things are the way they are. Some people use it to make sense of the Japanese culture of 'cute', or kawaii. Hello Kitty!, Anpanman, Winnie the Pooh and all the other big-eyed, baby-faced characters are popular with grown men because those men wish to relive or return to their pre-junior high school days. Hello Kitty!, as popular rebellion, an aching for personal freedom.

It also helps explain why there are no playground supervisors at any of my elementary schools. Or why the junior high school students, half frozen and totally bored, don't have recess and only get twenty minutes for lunch. Or why the people in my office stay at work until 5:30 p.m. on a Friday - every Friday - even if there isn't any work to do. Or why in Tokyo it's 11:30 p.m. Or why so very few people seem to take vacation.

The 'me' time that comes from a measurable amount of personal freedom simply doesn't exist. If societal obligation always comes first, curry with friends late Wednesday evening doesn't fit. Unless you're eight. By which time it's time for bed.

Today I got a supakoncho. It happened during jump-rope time with the first graders. I was on rope duty and this kid came up and grabbed my privates with one hand. The other hand he used to koncho me, two fingers up where the sun don't shine. Ouch. They always get you when you least expect it.

We finally went to an onsen with Miyazaki. Bubbly and stuttering, as always, she pulled into the Pia parking lot in a brand new Nissan March, an updated version of the Volkswagon beetle. She rolled her old car earlier that week from not knowing that you don't slam on the brakes when you hit ice. One of the downsides of living in a warm place - you don't learn how to drive.

She really drove the message home - pardon the pun - upon arriving at the onsen; she dropped her car into an open sewer. As we were stepping out of the car Nancy heard this clunk! and scrape! and knew right away that something had happened. A crowd had already gathered and was well on its way to pulling her out of the ditch. First they propped the car up with a jack under the back tire. A few rocks and sticks under the front and she drove right out. Now when either one of us does the same, we at least know how to get out!

The onsen was awesome. It was called Kuroshio Honjin, which has something to do with the current that runs off the coast of Kochi, and was built on the top of a hill overlooking Nakatosa. It is a brand new building with at least some sense of its surroundings - untreated cedar and maple, open hearth fireplaces laid in the tatami, a lobster tank, smooth lines and raked gravel. I watched the ocean rolling up onto the rugged shoreline as I sat and soaked, forgot the laundry and the kitchen that hasn't been cleaned all week. Ahhh, heavenly.

Afterward we headed for some ice cream, but there was a big line. We decided to check out the market. At the entrance to the market area an older couple were selling cheap paintings of fish, tomatoes and people. Each picture featured some crude calligraphy which we couldn't read and came complete with a cheap wooden frame. The pictures would have looked great in grandma and grandpa's cabin. Too bad they sold it!

At the market I showed Nancy a red snapper, which are real expensive here because they come from Okinawa. They are ugly as hell, so Nancy wasn't too impressed about that. We bought some cherry tomatoes instead, which were about half of what they would have been at the supermarket. We need to start shopping at the fruit and vegetable stands more often, but the damn supermarket is so convienient. That's no excuse, I suppose. It's better to support the little guys I think. We'll have to start planning a little more, and make the extra effort.

The cake and ice cream shop was nice, too. Nancy and I both got strawberry icecream, and Miyazaki and her daughter got strawberry shortcake and strawberry cream cheese cake respectively. Nakatosa is famous for strawberries!

On the way home we stopped in at a bamboo shop. Nancy and I already been there so we didn't stay long. I like looking at the crafts though. It's amazing what you can do with bamboo. Some of the suitcases and stuff are so intricate and finely detailed, they are more like works of art than anything else. And at about $1000 a pop, you probably wouldn't want to throw your dirty socks in them anyway.

All in all, we had a really great day with Miyazaki. She's a nice lady. Next time we're going to a different onsen further up in the mountains, about an hour from Susaki. Should be fun.